Establishing and maintaining sobriety - stopping the bleeding - is often a good place to start with someone struggling with an addiction, and sex addiction is no exception. If a person desires improved relationships with others, especially with a spouse/partner, then getting clear on ‘bottom lines’ - and then implementing them - will be most helpful. What is a ‘bottom...[ read more ]
Many addicts operate unconsciously with two core beliefs: 1) I’m a bad person 2) My needs don’t count Most of my clients struggle with taking their own needs seriously and implementing them. As a result, they have an inclination towards self-deprivation and don’t practice adequate self-care. A major part of recovery from sex addiction is establishing a consistent, daily self-care...[ read more ]
Most of my sex addiction clients have endured traumas in their earlier years that are adversely affecting them in the present. Being a trauma informed care practitioner and assisting in identifying and healing such traumas can be quite helpful to the recovery process. Trauma Informed Care also emphasizes physical, psychological and emotional safety, and helps survivors rebuild a sense of...[ read more ]
To a large degree, mindfulness is the key to recovery from sex addiction. In particular, developing the practice of identifying one’s prominent emotional triggers to acting out can make the difference between maintaining abstinence and yet another agonizing slip or relapse. Basic principles of Mindfulness: developing emotional awareness (what am I feeling in this moment?) distress tolerance/affect regulation ’learning to...[ read more ]
Two wings of recovery: due diligence and compassion Many clients I work with do well with the ‘due diligence’ part of recovery. On a regular basis they attend therapy, 12 Step meetings, work with a sponsor, work the 12 Steps, pray and meditate, etc. But when it comes to compassion (the other wing of recovery), they struggle. For many clients...[ read more ]
Most clients I work with that are challenged with sex addiction suffer from isolation. The pain of isolation makes matters worse as it exacerbates turning to sexually addictive behaviors for relief from the pain. Thus, assisting and encouraging clients to create and maintain a healthy support network is a vital part of sex addition treatment. Basic elements of Creating and...[ read more ]
Sex addiction can be seen as an intimacy disorder. In his popular 2015 TED talk, “Everything You Think You Know about Addiction is Wrong,” journalist Johann Hari discusses research into the underlying causes of and effective treatments for addiction, ultimately concluding, “The opposite of addiction is not sobriety, it’s connection.” Basic elements of Intimacy: Communication and conflict resolution skills creating...[ read more ]